He was like a fish gasping for air
and the fear on his face was imprinted
in my skull with all the other loathings
that he created in me – his broken
skin pocked and red – he picked
incessantly, those clotted napkins dotted
the floor like wayward children set astray.
And oh wasn’t that what we became?
Did he not bring out in each of us some hidden
doom we did not want to face? And all these
years later, here we were, thrust against the grain
once again – but lo we did not run.
Eye to eye we faced the misery,
that brown eyed fish and me,
as he groaned to rise, and fall, and rise
I caught him and allowed him to lean on me
as he dragged himself across the room, pants
falling and trapping him there on the stair,
and me calling to angels lest he fall backward
upon me, pinning me beneath is frail, sickly
shit stained self. And this is how it was, the
beauty and frailty of the dance we shared.
This was not the father, daughter dance I’d envisioned.
He was my greatest lesson on compassion, and
perhaps that was the most powerful gift he could bestow.

What do all the great magicians do?
They create seamless illusion,
rolling from moment to moment
without anyone seeing just how the magic is made.

You don’t see me working behind the scenes of my life
as the story I write unfolds – it is merely a refection
that ripples across the screen of this world.
I Am the great magician and my life is my magic!

***
I sat in quiet solitude for as long as it took to dissolve
all of my miscreations.

I took everything I deemed as good and held it in
my contemplative mind.

I then gave the illusion of my life the time it needed to reflect
my life anew.

And you can do this too.

It came swiftly in the night, and it harbored no resentments. Even the battlement to all I had known could not prevent its taking. But it never came to take – it came to give.  It didn’t seem as such at the time. It felt like a ripping and a tearing, and my ego was thrashed and thralled within its casement. I wanted to hold onto my belief – my man made notions. It desired that I give them up – that I let go. It was a grand fight to be sure. Me, holding firm – refusing the giving. I wanted to be right. But I had asked for something much more marvelous than I had imagined. I had asked that I Be Love – one hundred percent pure positive energy. And so judgment had to go. You see, it is the precursor to hate. It makes us hard and unloving. It makes us callous and cruel. Yes, perhaps it allows us to hold onto being right – but it makes us ugly in return. And so at last I set it down – I relented.

And this is what I saw.

In the face of every person, I began to see myself. I saw the same struggles, the same loneliness, the same rejections, the same sorrows, but mostly – the same potential for greatness. For Beauty. For Wholeness. For Love. And my heart softened. I looked into the hearts of others and I saw – Myself.

We are the Same.

We are the Same.

The night was always silver,
Despite the blackness that I saw.
That little sliver of Light was always there,
Asking me, “Little Childe, Come Home”.
But I was never afraid of the dark.
It was this contrast that showed me the Power of the Light.
Only in the Silver Night do you see the illusion most call sin.

Let me strip away this facade
Never having served me well
I Am beneath this illusion
Complete and Whole
Strength dwells in this Core
It has proven unshakable
This me that’s All Me
Could never be swayed by
Outside influences
Only the exterior reflection
Could be rippled with the
Slightest thrown stone
What will be left to offend
Damage or reject
Once all is sheared away
And I like a mountain
Am standing unmoved

I will look past every illusion you have made for yourself in order to feel safe in this world.

Every fearful idea that you hold as real will remain unreal to me.

And in this way I will always remember you, and never lose sight of who you truly are.

Even as you become lost unto yourself, I will remain a candle shining beyond your darkness.

I have explored the depths of my illusions
Spelunking those inner caverns
Clinging to my imaginary darkness
As beliefs, like bats unsettled at my presence
Flew like banshees towards the open night
Sirens wailing through the shadows as they fled
Until death found me in the ensuing silence
Beneath all my delusions was a deep emptiness
Out of which I had been pouring Myself all along

…….…………….Factory Reset

Today was light, and full of fragrants sweet
The winged clouds made winds for the birds
And I watched them soaring in delight,
Their music never touched my heart,
Nor did those sites or smells of loveliness
I stared past them with little interest – unseeing
I was too busy lying in my hammock full of thoughts
As still as I appeared, my world was a torrent
All that beauty rolling past – And Me
Trapped in the wickedness of my own mind
Wasting it.

There is a channel, so deep, perhaps bottomless
When thoughts run cold and harsh and cruel
Standing there before it every time –
I could jump – Into that nothingness
I would find myself there – waiting to be found
One click – would free the mouse from the rats race
I haven’t found this out just yet, or I’m not ready
I merely stop and gape warily into the emptiness
I have been made comfortable by these notions
Albeit harsh and cruel – they help me feel
Justified – Where I make enemies, I am blameless.

What is this malware that has infected me?
This hate, jealousy, envy, greed, malice – this deception
I came with clear and precise intent – with Love
I came empty of all lies – I came knowing Truth
Not as one has knowledge of say, this thing or that –
No. I knew Truth as One knows Breath, yet
Now it fades into the background – I watch it as it goes
Like the slow draping of the veil – and Me
Shrouding myself within it as though it be my comforter
I have loved my lies; they have offered me greatness
I can stand upon them and be above all else that is.

All along those bugs were hidden in that apple – yet we eat
Stuck in our illusions we take our bytes daily – running
The programs written by others while we
Hide in sleep mode – our own creative energy
Charging someone else’s PC – In a binary world
And no firewall for protection – just
Garbage in – garbage out – boringly – blindly – until we freeze
Then Ctrl Alt Delete – Close – Restart
Up and running again – This is not our race
There was a time we had no faulty Operating System
May we flip the switch and return to ourselves……….Factory Reset

The path is laid before you by your mind!
It made the crooked and the straight,
and that devil you thought you could find,
always worked to move you toward your fate.

And all that whimsy talk about a creator,
it was you who listened and decided,
because what you wanted was always greater
then all the worldly knowledge that misguided,

you into a false sense of understanding,
and to keep you slave to what’s been made!
You, like cattle accept your branding,
and the freedom from your life is what you’ve paid!

What will it take to pierce through to your soul,
so you could see YOUR Light that shines into Your World?
It’s not a shaming devil or a god to make you whole,
that Light is YOU! And Your Life from It is unfurled!